All original works by Ramie Rudlee (except newspaper articles and names used for inspiration, and where noted). Feedback, questions and ideas welcome.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

How Badly Can I Write?

     I showed my father this blog, which he dutifully read, and then went on to read something else completely different without a word.  I mean, come on--a little feedback please? 
  
     "It's good," he said.  "You're a good writer."

      "I need to be told the truth about my writing.  Don't tell me it's good if it isn't," I said.   "Would you tell me if I wrote something bad?"

     "Of course!"  he said.

How's this one?

Peter The Purple Porcupine


 Peter the Purple Porcupine woke up one frosty morning and tumbled out of his nest.  He landed on a pile of leaves with a thump.  He had leaves stuck on his quills.

Then he went for a walk and as he was walking he came upon a furry little squirrel that had a pocket full of acorns.  I want your acorns. said Peter the Purple Porcupine.

You can't have my acorns because you are a Purple porcupine.  the furry little squirrel said.

Okay then, said Peter the Purple Porcupine.  I will pork you with my quills.

Ouch!! said the furry little squirrel.  You're not only purple, you are mean!  and he ran away with his pocket full of acorns.

Then Peter the Purple Porcupine walked in the woods some more until he came upon a feathery bird.  The feathery bird had a twig in its beak.

Give me your twig or I'll pork you with my quills.  Said Peter the purple porcupine.

No way. said the feathery bird.  and he flew away before he could get porked.

So the purple porcupine whose name was Peter went home.  He had dirt soup for dinner and then he went to bed.

So don't pork people or you won't get what you want.
The end.

1 comment:

  1. Aside from the obvious punctuation issues this is actually kind of cute and totally usable with some sanding and polishing. You need to make your bad worse if you're going for badness.

    Peter the Purple Porcupine is a classic character on the verge of a redemptive experience. Or he could star in his own ongoing series about a terribly grouchy porcupine. And the alliterative title is actually pretty catchy.

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